Amanda Holden Talks Therapy
Britain’s Got Talent judge Amanda Holden, interviewed in Good Housekeeping Magazine this month, has talked about how therapy helped her come to terms with the still birth of her son, Theo, in 2011. Holden, now 42, was seven months pregnant when she lost her baby, and it was her second miscarriage in nine months.
Although the miscarriage happened two years ago it was a while before Holden went for therapy. “I only very recently felt like I needed to see a therapist,” she told the magazine. “I saw somebody five or six times. To know your baby might not be born alive is incomprehensible…he was nearly three pounds – bigger than some babies in the prem ward.”
It is not uncommon for someone who has experienced a loss of any kind, including a bereavement or the end of a relationship, to come for therapy some time after the actual event has happened. At the point when a loss occurs everything feels very ‘up in the air’, and at that point being around friends and family can be the most effective source of support. There might be practical things to sort out, such as a funeral, moving or work arrangements, which keep our minds busy and often means that we keep our feelings at bay. We may go into shock which can leave us feeling numb, and unable to process or get to grips with what has happened. This is a very common initial reaction to loss, and enables us to cope with the immediate aftermath. We may try and carry on as normally as possible, and indeed at this point in the grieving process this may be the most effective way of dealing with what has happened.
However, once things have somewhat started to settle down and we begin to process the loss, it may feel harder to cope than it did in the first instance. This is the point at which people often start to feel overwhelmed by their feelings, and with many of the practical things having been sorted out – and the influx of friends and family wishing you well and being around having diminished – the real impact of the loss may hit.
After a period of time, which varies from person to person and with differing situations, we start to feel more able to deal with life after the loss. We begin to think about a ‘new normal’ as everyday life re-adjusts to the change in circumstances. However, sometimes it may feel that this is an impossibility, and that you are unable to even start to process the loss and think about life carrying on. This is when it may be helpful to see a therapist or a counsellor, even if it is a couple of years after the loss, as was the case with Amanda Holden.
At The Grove we understand that different people deal with loss in different ways, and that there is no ‘right’ way to cope. We understand that people may come for counselling any length of time after a loss or a bereavement, and that sometimes feelings can lie dormant for many years before they surface again, in a way that may understandable, or may not.
Our counsellors will work with you when you feel you need extra support. We will help you to manage difficult feelings and work with you as you adapt to life after the loss. Take the first step by getting in touch today, and we can talk through your needs and situation to ensure that we find the right counsellor for you.