Jennifer Aniston: “I wish I could send my younger self to therapy”.
Jennifer Aniston spoke out in this month’s US edition of Glamour magazine about the struggles she experienced during her thirties, and said that she wished she could have therapy to help her younger self to deal with that tumultuous time.
When questioned by Jason Sudeikis – her co-star in her latest film We’re the Millers – as to what she would have done differently over each decade of her life, Aniston said that while “I did ok in my twenties” – she was 25 when she got her big break playing Rachel Green in hit sitcom Friends – she would tell her thirty–something self to “Go to therapy…clean up all of the toxins and the noise. Understand who you are. Educate yourself on the self.”
“You can undo a lot of things,” the actress said. “If you’re not happy, you can become happy. Happiness is a choice. That’s the thing I really feel. Like with friends who refuse to get happy, who refuse to rise above the discomfort of where they’re at.”
Towards the end of their twenties and the beginning of their thirties many people begin to question who they really are, where they are going and what they truly want out of life. It can be easy to get swept up in the whirlwind of expectations placed upon us by family, society, and even ourselves, and in amongst all of the demands and requirements we may lose sight of our own needs and desires. And this is more common than we may think – Depression Alliance estimates that a third of all twenty-somethings feel depressed while Amelia Hill, writing in The Guardian in May 2011, reported that educated professionals are most likely to suffer. 86% of 1100 young people questioned by gumtree.com said that they felt pressurised to succeed financially, in their relationships and in their careers by the age of 30, which is the age at which many early–adult identity crises tend to peak, according to Dr Oliver Robinson, Lead Researcher and Psychologist at the University of Greenwich.
At The Grove our counsellors and therapists understand that life transitions can be tough, especially when marked by significant birthdays highlighting the passing of time. We understand that you may feel under pressure to meet certain goals in your career, relationships and personal life, and that to begin to feel that you are on the wrong track or that life is not turning out as expected can be a hard thing to face, not least to begin to change. Particularly if you have dedicated years of your life to a career, relationship or situation which is no longer working for you. It can be supportive to talk things through, to help make some sense of where you are now and where you are hoping to go and, most importantly, how you are going to get there; getting stuck is not a problem in itself, but staying stuck is.
Like Jennifer Aniston, you may be feeling that you need some help ‘drowning out the noise’ and ‘cleaning up the toxins’ as you approach a milestone in your life, whether this be your thirtieth birthday or any other significant passing. Let’s talk first, before making any big decisions such as changing jobs, investing in a new business, travelling the world or leaving a relationship, in order to help determine the best route for you to take from here in order to regain agency over your life, get to know yourself and take control of your future.