Ms Dynamite: Therapy “was one of the best things I’ve ever done”.
Niomi McLean-Daley, a.k.a. Ms Dynamite, said in a recent interview with The Independent that going for therapy was one of the best things she’s ever done.
The singer, now 32, said that she found therapy necessary, after having spent so much of her life feeling “confused and conflicted”. “I don’t want to sound like I’m feeling sorry for myself because, honestly, I know I’ve got so much to be thankful for,” she told the broadsheet. “But I had a lot of issues, and I was very angry…I clashed with my mother a lot, with everyone.” Ms Dynamite cites her mother’s battle with cancer, her absent father and a deprived background as some of the influencing factors in her personal struggles.
At the age of 15 Niomi was living in a hostel and surviving on job seeker’s allowance. At 21, she released her highly acclaimed debut album, and went on to win a mercury award. “On the surface, sure, I had all this confidence, all this character,” she told The Independent. “But when I went home at night, I just felt completely unworthy. I had no self-belief: as an artist, a singer; nothing. It was all so strange. I couldn’t come to terms with it. Suddenly I had money, and I didn’t have to worry about feeding myself. But I couldn’t believe I was allowed to get away with it, that people were paying me to keep singing, when I couldn’t even really do that, not properly…” Crises of confidence are not unfamiliar to the superstar, who says that often when she starts to question herself and feel inadequate she turns to therapy to help her through which, she says, helps “lots”.
Therapy, a period of reflection and becoming a mother all contributed to Niomi’s developing self-confidence, and feeling of being at ease with herself and who she really is. “I still remember the day I accepted I was never going to be Whitney or Mariah, because I realised I didn’t want to be – had never wanted to be, in fact. It’s like, why was I so hung up over it? I wish I knew. But that was a complete revelation to me: that I was okay being me.”
Sometimes people who have achieved success in their lives feel as if they have done so because of luck or special circumstances, rather than on their own merit. People may feel a fraud, and have an underlying belief that they are not really good enough to do what they are doing and to have achieved what they’ve achieved. This may lead to an ongoing niggling anxiety that one day they will be ‘discovered’, even when all evidence is to the contrary. On top of that we may be continually comparing ourselves to others and then berating ourselves when we don’t measure up, like Ms Dynamite. It may be difficult to truly believe in ourselves.
At The Grove we understand how debilitating this feeling can be, and how it can take over and overwhelm. Our counsellors have a lot of experience in helping people develop their self-confidence and belief in themselves. We are passionate about helping people to become happy with who they really are, so they can go on to achieve the goals and live the lives they really want. Let’s talk first, and see how we can support you in developing your confidence and self-esteem, before those negative beliefs take over and leave you feeling stuck.