Re-assemble your relationship through couple counselling
A new law being put forward, which will enable couples to make pre- and post-nuptial agreements legally binding, is leading to yet more questions being raised around divorce rates and the meaning of marriage and civil partnerships in the modern world. This, in turn, often leads to discussions around relationships, and may make us think a bit more deeply about the relationship we are in, and whether or not it is the right one for us.
All relationships are difficult, and it would be unusual if partnerships didn’t experience rocky patches, particularly under times of stress, transition and change. And although big issues such as addiction, redundancy, illness or bereavement may change the course of a relationship, sometimes it is the mundane, day-to-day living that starts to take its toll. Much of the time couples negotiate their way through the rough times and come out all the stronger for it, but sometimes even the most solid of relationships undergo one strain too many, and it can feel as if things are starting to unravel. This may be the time when a couple decides to enter therapy, for help and support from an impartial third person, in working with their problems and coming to decisions about where to go in the future, whether this be together or separately.
On entering relationship therapy an anonymous contributor to The Guardian found it “amazing to be able to talk to each other in front of another adult”, as “crosstalk had become the unhealthy way in which we communicated and it often distracted us from listening.” This is a very common occurrence in any form of partnership, when communication becomes sullied and ineffective and the bigger issues become ensconced in smaller irritations and niggles.
Relationship counselling at The Grove can help you work on your communication, and will support you in saying those things to your partner that are difficult, but are the things that really matter. We can also work with you on the other areas of your relationship that may have become overlooked, giving each of you the space to rediscover yourselves, which in turn will help with strengthening your relationship. “She is asking us to break down our relationship into the components that existed before we were a couple,” says the columnist. “Before time made some things muddled, sullied or unfit for purpose.” Over time, and under the stresses and strains of everyday life, it can be easy to lose those parts of yourselves that make each of you you: the person with whom the other originally fell in love.
We have a number of specially trained and qualified relationship therapists on our team, who can work with you and your partner. Your therapist will help you unpick what is really going on in your relationship and work through your differences, and will support you in coming to a decision about whether you want to move forward together, and if so how to go about it. In speaking about her own experiences of couples’ therapy The Guardian’s columnist found that “after one session a certain, slow re-assembly of our relationship has begun, making it clear that a future together is not, as it so recently seemed, destined for the scrapheap.” However, we understand that sometimes the best thing for a couple to do is to separate and go their separate ways, and if it transpires that that is the right path for you we can support in making that decision.
If you are struggling in your relationship and you and your partner are finding it difficult to work things out between you, we can be of help. A therapist won’t tell you what to do, but will work alongside you in a supportive manner, creating time and space to work on your issues and come to some decisions. Let’s talk first, before making any big decisions about your relationship, your future and your life. Contact The Grove now for a free 30-minute assessment, so that we can match you to a suitable therapist and you can start you work and deeper explorations together.