We never touch, we never talk
This human story shows why you should consider relationship counselling sooner rather than later.
In an interview with the Daily Mail in January 2012, Neville Lawrence said that the murder of 18-year-old Stephen in 1993 spelled the end of his marriage to Doreen. Prior to that, he said their marriage had been a “normal, loving relationship”.
He told the newspaper: “Our world began falling apart from the moment the hospital staff told us our son had died.
“For some reason that I’ve tried to understand – and I still don’t – we couldn’t reach out to one another. We stayed together for another six years, but from that day we never physically touched one another again.”
Despite their long campaign for justice for their son, involving group discussions, Mr Lawrence said he and his wife would discuss “absolutely nothing” as a couple.
He told the newspaper: “In 18 years, me and Doreen have still never once talked about what happened to Stephen that night. About how and why he died and how it affected us.”
Sadly, Neville and Doreen Lawrence separated.
But for many couples who have relationship therapy sessions, they can find a way to communicate about difficult or painful topics. They benefit from hearing each other’s point of view, even if they have very different views. This can bring greater mutual respect and understanding, which are crucial to maintain intimacy and sex in a marriage.
There can be a lot of sadness, hurt, anger and resentment beneath the surface of marital difficulties. It takes courage to listen to your partner and say what’s on your mind.
Relationship counselling can give you time and a structure to look at what’s troubling in your marriage and gain new perspective. There’s often a lot to be gained.
Contact us soon to find out more about counselling and how we can help.