Vinnie Jones trades alcohol for therapy to save marriage
This month marital discord has hit the headlines once more, with Breaking Bad’s Bryan Cranston speaking out about attending couples’ counselling with his wife Robin Deardon, and ex-footballer Vinnie Jones publicly trading alcohol for therapy after footage was posted online of him kissing another woman behind his wife’s back while filming a documentary in Russia.
“I see a [therapist] in L.A. from time to time, when I’m feeling edgy or anxiety-ridden,” Cranston, 57, told Rolling Stone magazine. “And my wife and I go to a couples therapist. Our agreement is, if either of us feels like we want to go, the other can’t object.” Cranston and Deardon married in 1989, after Cranston divorced his first wife in 1982. “[Deardon and I] met at the right time, when we were both mature,” he said, as reported by the Daily Mail.
Vinnie Jones, who wrote about managing and working with his alcohol addiction in his autobiography It’s Been Emotional, talks about seeking psychological support after what happened in Russia. “I needed to put an end to this carnage I seem to cause every now and again,” he said. Wales Online reported that Jones sees his psychologist on a weekly basis. “I’ve sat and talked my life through with this guy,” Jones said. “I’ve virtually given up drinking.” Within his book Jones also talks about how he struggled to come to terms with the suicide of his friend and colleague, Gary Speed.
Couples come for therapy due to specific issues in their relationship, such as managing problems with their partner’s children, infidelity, sex, or issues at work that are hard to separate from home life. Others find that they row a lot, or that the relationship is starting to feel stale and stuck. Couples therapy can help work with distance in a relationship, develop better communication, work with negative behaviours and develop strength and resilience between you both. Therapy also provides a space to think more deeply about issues and to explore the relationship in greater depth. It may be that you want to work out how to move forward together, or you could be thinking about going your separate ways and want space to think this through.
We understand that deciding to seek relationship counselling can be daunting and intimidating, for both parties in the relationship. But if things between you and your partner are difficult then a course of couples counselling can help to manage difficult times and support you in making decisions about where to go next. Some couples find that having individual therapy alongside couples counselling is supportive, as the work you undertake on yourself can complement the work you are doing with your partner.
At The Grove we have specialised couples counsellors, who will provide you and your partner with the space to talk through what is going on in the relationship, and to discuss how to move forward, as a couple or as individuals. Let’s talk first, before you take action, to bring some clarity to the situation and ensure that the decisions you make work best for both of you.